OMG!

It's been a while since we've showcased something so horrific we couldn't wait to share with you all. These are a pair of Robert Clergerie shoes that I just came across. I would usually start this sentence with "even my great grandmother who lived on a farm..." but I've decided that I do that too often, so we'll leave my great grandmother alone this time. Instead, I will say NO one should be caught dead in these shoes. Take caution: if any of us see you out in these, you will never hear the end of it. We will follow you until you take them off, use them to dig a deep hole, and throw them in said whole and cover it with cow manure. Don't click on the image and don't pay $600 dollars for them. Please. 

Why, Tinsley Mortimer?

Tinsley Mortimer showed up to the 8th Annual New Yorkers for Children Spring Dinner Dance at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel in New York City wearing THIS. Why? We have no idea. The color drowns her out and the shape swallows her petite figure, so pretty much what's left is her blond hair and shoes. Speaking of hair, she could have done something more to it--it looks cheap and half-assed. I don't like her jewelry either, but it doesn't matter because nothing can save this look.

 

Image Courtesy of Zimbio

Why, Kim Kardashian?

You know I have to say something about the thing that was drooping from KK's lower dash (pun intended). As if those pants weren't bad enough, she paired it with that busy semi sheer top that was obviously intended to take one's attention from the slack. Why? Why did you wear this? Do you think it's flattering? Because it's the farthest thing from flattering--actually, I believe it is a statement. Not a fashion statement, but a statement of sorts that points to something so obvious and intentional that it leaves me wondering if even I am over-analyzing. If you don't know what I mean, then we clearly have not met. 

Images Courtesy of Zimbio

What the orange hell was she thinking?

Some things just look better on the runway, like this Jil Sander orange bag with pull strings that Barrymore wore to the Covergirl 50th anniversary party. 

Let's not even get started on her hair and overgrown roots. Girl needs a good dye job. I understand overgrown roots were 'in' this winter (why?), but this is too much. The orange cheeks and mauve lips? I'm dying. Cringing in my bed as I write this. 

At LEAST turn the dress upside down so it fits properly.

Maybe if the cut was higher like it is on the runway it wouldn't look so bad.

Drew, do us a favor and fire your stylist. 

Image courtesy of Batchplease.com

Major Fail

Hey everyone, I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving break! Now it's time to dissect  the latest oh-no's from our favorite websites. 

Can we just talk about what a major fail this Christopher Kane dress is? Galaxy print on silk-satin? Really?!

Incase you haven't noticed, fur vests are in. A crochet cropped fur gilet? No. In case you weren't already having issues with back fat, this will do the trick. 

What's up with these cropped jackets?! I thought they were out already...

Is there any possible way that a dress can make her look more uncomfortable and heinous? Her figure is lost in the boxy cut and the length is too short. Someone hand this girl some Spanx! 

I don't think there is a more fattening pattern than this lace garter-style "tank top." This is for all you...been around the block a few times...types.

Why??

I would like to title this post, Ugliest Bags in the World.

This bag...clutch...birdcage...is valued at just a little over $5000. Can we just talk about the fact that carrying a birdcage around is WEIRD? Let alone one that is embezzled with multicolored crystals and doubles as a purse...

I can go to the beach, grab a shell and tie a string around it. Result? I save $4000 and it will probably look better than this.

No, I don't like accordions. No, I don't like for my clutches to be made of wood. Yes, I do want my shoulder bag to fit under my armpit.

With respect to Jimmy Choo, this belongs in the window of a diner, lit, reading "open".

A pea in a pod. Looks like a placenta.

I hate hate HATE these kinds of bags.

This color should never be on a bag. Nor should that fabric ever be used on anything besides shower caps. Don't let me go NEAR that mismatched shoulder strap.

1. 

   Anything with the word 'juicy' on it does not deserve my arm, butt, or any other part of my body.

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   Oh look..........he has another one. Joy.
   
   
   
   What could you possibly fit into this?
   
   
   
   Yah, that's a bag. A cupcake bag. That's not even cute.
   
   
   
   I promise this is the last bag like this...but this one was too funny not to post.
   
   
   And now...for the UGLIEST bag in the world...
   The Louis Vuittion Tribute Patchwork bag. Valued at just a little over $52,000. Marc Jacobs must have been smoking something really special when he came up with this design.
   
   
   

1. 
   

Why??

No explanation needed